DATELINE: September 8th, Grand Hotel Union, Ljubljana, Slovenia
I’m tired now and ready for home, which is probably not what I should be saying but I’m saying it anyway. I’m tired of jet lag, I’m tired of schedules, I’m tired of alarms, and I’m tired of talking. At home I can go days without talking to anyone other than Max, the dog, and Franklin the Dink so there is some serious over-stimulation going on right now, and it’s making me cranky. Not proud of that either and I’m trying really hard to be a good boy but there are two days left and I need to be better.
Especially so considering where we are tonight – Ljubljana, Slovenia. Hands down the best city we’ve been too on this tour, and it’s not even close. This place I’m pretty sure is not of this century, and I’m not sure it’s of last century either, and I’m perfectly fine with that because sometimes I don’t think I am either.
Follow the stairs to your left and at the top is our hotel.
15 Euros, you can take a boat ride on this river running through Old Town
Every street has outdoor dining options, drinking options, ICE CREAM options, and of course shopping options. And again, English is very prevalent. The streets are clean, tidy.
Life is good here, and not just here, but most of Central Europe. I absolutely did not expect that. We don’t live better than these people, and maybe it’s they who live better than us, I’m not so sure anymore. The villages we drove through this morning look like they fell out of a painting, with big houses and newly paved roads and views that never end. Recycling is easy and efficient, electric cars are everywhere, everyone rides bikes or scooters and if you’re not careful they’ll run you over lol. Stopping on your way home for a glass of wine, or maybe a macchiato and some strudel is a must. Europeans know what’s important, and it isn’t working plus 4’s and extra night shifts. It’s sharing a laugh with friends while strolling along the cobblestone, being out and about and making the most of what remains of summer. La bella vita – the beautiful life – it’s here before me in real time, right now.
And I am so down for that!
DATELINE: September 9th, Grand Hotel Union, Ljubljana, Slovenia
Dobro jutro – that means good morning in Slovenian. Was it a good morning though? I don’t know, we are feeling pretty normal now, like the jet lag is no longer a problem . . . which in itself is a big fucking problem because we go home tomorrow. Always works that way doesn’t it? Of course it does. But tomorrow is not today, now is today and today we went to the mountains.
The country outside the village of Radovljica. Slovenia as you can see, besides being quite rugged, is covered in lush, green forest. 61% of Slovenia’s 7,774 sq miles is covered in forest, and do you know what lives in those forests? Bears, yeah, the big-ass European brown bear calls these lands home. Didn’t see one today, but one of Slovenia’s slogans is ‘Land of a 1,000 bears,’ which is a lot of bears for a country 30% smaller than British Columbia’s East Kootenays.
Oh, but then there is this . . .
And this . . .
Lake Bled. That is the Church of the Mother of God on the Lake, or The Church of Mary the Queen, the current edition built sometime in the late 1600’s, although there has been a church of some sort on this little island since the 9th Century. See that boat in the front? That is how one gets to the island, in this wooden boat, propelled by one single oarsman. That’s right, one man, two oars. We almost capsized in ours because a ‘not so small woman’ decided to get up and move to the front for a better picture. We went into a decent wobble before the oarsman yelled, “SIT DOWN!” I think the rest of us in the boat would have just rather tossed her overboard.
And can you see the steps on the far left? There are 99 of them to get up to the base of the castle. Our tour guide told us some sort of story about grooms packing brides on their shoulders up the steps for good luck or something (yeah, I wasn’t really listening) and right on queue, this 60 plus year old yuppie fuck (he was American, sorry) starts packing his blond, probably 50 plus, big nosed (I know, very judgy), mail order, twat-waffle, wife up those stairs. They made it too without breaking their necks or anyone else’s, but seriously, WHY? Oh, and then for the rest of the time they were up there they filmed themselves doing stupid shit on the stairs, ‘creating content’ is what I believe they call it, running back and forth, a fake laugh, strike a pose, you know what I mean. And chicken neck wife squawking the whole time about how “we’re just living our best lives!” Because we were at a CHURCH, I sat quietly on a stone wall while silently reciting,
“God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the Courage to change the things I can, And the Wisdom to know the difference.”
Before walking back down those 99 stone steps and pretending those two fuckheads never existed at all.
Other than that though, yeah . . . Bled is the most beautiful lake I’ve ever seen in my life!!!
DATELINE: Later, LOCATION: Everywhere (kind of…)
And then we had ‘Exit from Europe’ day, which began at 8 am, or 12 Midnight Mountain Daylight Time (MDT). Shower, breakfast, a quick last look around — it’s raining (like hard). Our driver arrives at 10:30 for the half hour trip to the airport. He’s a maniac but I like him. He likes us too because we are Canadian and all hate Trump. Everyone in the van grooves to Journey, Prince, some Slavic pop that we’ve obviously never heard before and a little Pet Shop Boys before drop-off. It was an interesting ride.
Our flight from Ljubljana to Munich took off 50 minutes behind schedule – oh SHIT, yeah – forcing us upon landing to literally run from one end of the Munich airport to the other (which is fucking huge), grab a tram ride, get through through Security and EU Customs Control and barely get to our gate on time for boarding. Then we descended a lot of stairs to a waiting bus on the tarmac that basically took us back to almost where we started from. Like seriously?
But . . . we made it onto a plane back to Canada, except it’s not a direct flight to Calgary; Viking handled our flying itinerary and graciously sent us to Montreal first, which added roughly 6 hours to our already ridiculously long day. And I didn’t sleep at all because well, it’s daytime, so it’s 8 hours of headbanging. We landed in Montreal 3 am Ljubljana Time, 5 pm MDT.
You know, I actually thought about searching out a Montreal Smoked Sandwich in the airport but yeah, no time for that either; more running to get through Canadian Customs and eventually our gate. We’re frazzled, overwhelmed and obviously, sleep deprived. And it is so LOUD; those mobility cars going by with that “beep, beep, beep,” half the World’s languages going off at once, all around us, at a yell, a strange buzz emanating from speakers hanging from the ceiling that sounds like a radiator letting off steam, and it never stops – like what the Hell is this, Havana Syndrome? I don’t know, but I really hate this airport. Just too much, man! Too much!
9 pm Montreal Time (7 pm MDT) we are AGAIN airborne for our final leg back to Calgary, landing 11:40 pm MDT, de-boarding by Midnight, and in our hotel room in Calgary (Hotel Clique – great showers) by 1: am; 25+ hours after we started, and probably the most insane single day we’ve ever had traveling by air. Good grief!
Of note: when we pulled up to our driveway upon arrival at home the next day there was a large pile of fresh bear shit right in the middle of the entrance. So yeah . . . right on! Bruno’s (I call all bears Bruno) way of saying, “welcome back,” or something of that nature, I guess.
And now – guess what? I’ve got jet lag, AGAIN! This wasn’t supposed to happen on the return, God damnit, yet here I am wide awake (and writing this) when I should be sleeping (it’s EARLY morning and very dark) and I sleep when I should be awake. Probably going to be like this for a few more days too because I don’t help myself to adjust either; because why make something easy when you can fight it and be GRUMPY, right? It’s probably a Gen X thing I’m thinking.
Worth it? Absolutely! But . . . maybe not so many countries, so fast; it’s difficult to truly feel a place when you are constantly on the move. Oh, and those infernal, organized walking tours – way less of those. I don’t do well shuffling along, earpiece in, listening to some guide drone on and on, then pointing out places we should check out in our free time when we have NO free time, because there is another bloody tour to go on. Isn’t it better to casually stroll along a busy boulevard, stopping now and then for gelato, or maybe a cappuccino, and just ‘be present?” Of course it is. Maybe next time take in the smells of the street, listen to life as it is, avoid any ‘Tik Tok’ of the odious clock, and just sit back feeling the vibes.
Next Time!!