I was hungry. The apple fritter I ate at Gate A12 YYC was like, ages ago and a whole other province as well, so we had to pull over in the next town in search of a little sustenance. The Coombs Old Country Market https://oldcountrymarket.com/ (yeah, one of those ‘goats on a roof’ places) fit the bill nicely so in we went for burgers and a well-deserved break. Cool place too, and the burgers were decent (like a really good rink burger, if you know what I mean) but the goats were not out and about today, no doubt due to the torrential downpour we seemed to be stuck in since we landed in Comox an hour or so before. Inside and chowing down, yeah… we were grooving to the tunes, well I was anyway, saying to Max that “you can almost always immediately discern the average age of an establishment’s clientele just by paying attention to what music is playing in the background.” It’s true, and as I happily sang along to “if you like pina coladas…. And getting caught in the rain…” that’s right it’s ESCAPE (The Pina Colada Song) by Rupert Holmes, I scanned the room – old people, way older than me okay, like in their 60’s kinda old. I know, right? Old! And this was 70’s music. We finished our meal and took a little stroll around, yeah… Seasons In the Sun by Terry Jacks. “This is awesome,” I exclaimed, “and I’m not talking about the store.” Max had no doubt seen this show before and replied “yeah, we know.” I thought to myself, “what a great playlist they have going.” It was SiriusXM’s 70’s on 7. Okay, so… probably time to move on, eh?
It’s Rocktober, which of course everybody knows, right? Sure, but did you know that I just turned 55? Yeah well… whatever… there IS a HUGE difference between 55 and 65, okay? There just is…
Tofino (see how I changed the subject there?) was our final destination, and after an arduous 2 plus hour journey through some incredibly beautiful country (witnessed through windshield wipers mostly on high) we arrived in a town bathed in spectacular sunshine. No serious, it really was sunny for all of about 10 minutes. Accommodations were an oceanfront suite at Pacific Sands https://www.pacificsands.com/ right on Cox Bay Beach. It was a third floor suite so from my little kitchen table I could see all the surfers catching waves in their thick wet suits, dogs that were supposed to be on leashes but not on leashes deliriously tearing about (seriously, who gives a shit, they weren’t hurting anyone), little children with mittfuls of sand in yellow muck boots racing toward the water while their mothers in bare feet chased after them, and swimmers (actual human beings in swimming gear, probably not quite right in the head, wading into the North Pacific in mid-October). I see old people too (way older than me, dickhead – like old), strolling along arm in arm in their bright yellow rain slickers provided to guests by Pacific Sands, soaking in all that weird cosmic energy that seems to seep into the bones through an ever-present salty sea mist.
Dinner our first night was a treat. Shelter https://www.shelterrestaurant.com/ might be one of the most visually stunning eateries I have ever set foot in. The food was pretty damn fine too, I think I ate more salmon than a baby orca and it was with great difficulty that I made it back to our rental car in the parking lot. Funny story concerning this place – after using the washroom I was coming through the large wooden door to go back to our table. I saw a group of people coming towards me, so I waited and held the door open (I know right, such a gentleman). As they were passing through, an older fella in the party, like way older than me, dickhead, I mean old, looks me straight in the eye and says, “it smells like black hash in there. It smells good.”
I’m like, “right on, Man!”
Okay, what? Did he just say that? You can’t even make this shit up, can you?! Why would he say that to a complete stranger? My God people are amazing! I don’t even know what black hash smells like, maybe lol.
Now back to that rain thing, on Tuesday morning we awoke to the crashing of waves and something else, rain. Not just any rain either but Rainfall Warning kind of rain, 180 to 200mm in the next 24 hours kind of rain. Who the fuck gets that kind of rain? It’s like a monsoon, Man! Well close, more like a super typhoon named Bolevan and the atmospheric river of moisture hitting us was all that remained of this, the second largest storm on record for 2023. The surfers didn’t care, just another day in the life, right?
We didn’t care either because one full day is all we had here, rain or shine there was shopping, and of course eating, to be done. We had coffee and breakfast at the Rhino https://www.rhinocoffeehouse.com/. I had something called the Ultimate Wrap which was huge, and their coffee is killer. Fantastic coffee house vibe too, very cool. We hit a couple of surf shops to see what was out there and we tried to get a glimpse of our surroundings but… and I’m not sure I mentioned this before, it was raining, like A LOT! We decided to head back to the resort but on the way we stopped at https://chocolatetofino.com/ where the hot chocolate might kill you it’s so good.
We rented this beachside sauna for 2 hours. I honestly have no idea when the last time I ever set foot inside a sauna so this whole activity was approached with a fair degree of scepticism. This unit is wood fired and was ready to roll for us when we arrived. The staff member gave us a rundown of how and where everything was and explained the 20 minutes in, 20 minutes out cycle. Max asked if people go in the ocean for the cool part and he told her that in fact many do. Of course, those were the weirdos I saw before. You ain’t getting me in that ocean, no way! That water is 55F. Guess what? We both went in, multiple times too. There were a few stares and comments lol from the bundled-up bleacher section but hey, it was all in fun. And how was it really? Not even joking, probably one of the most amazing things I’ve ever done. Your body is so hot that the water feels 20 degrees warmer and yeah, it’s still cold but shit Man, it’s mid-October and you are riding waves in the North Pacific Ocean (in board shorts bitches) while what’s left of Super Typhoon Bolevan is dumping his atmospheric river guts on you. How fucking awesome is that? Maybe those people were more right in the head than I thought, eh? I honestly still can’t believe that we did that and yeah, I’d do it again tomorrow in a heartbeat.
As the above image shows, there were brief moments of respite from the rain, on our first day there. After that, we were not so lucky.
Same spot – one day later!
Okay, so Tofino is NOTHING like I had anticipated. First off, it’s not so easy to get to. The highway between Port Alberni and Tofino / Ucluelet is somewhat rugged to say the least. It’s a highway right out of the 1940’s; crazy corners, up and down, no shoulders. It is also full on ‘Nature Porn’ with lakes, raging rivers, waterfalls seemingly around every corner, fog gently rolling in and out; super hard to pay attention to the road with all that going on around you.
And the town? Well, I remember the 90’s and the logging protests, the celebrities boycotting BC Forest Products, and the arrests. I tried very hard to keep pre-conceived notions at bay but a part of me kept visualizing a hippie commune town with rich city people walking around in their puffy coats and Rastafarians smoking weed on the street corners. I might have been a wee bit off the mark there, eh? There was more weed smoking going on in downtown Cincinnati than what I ever saw here (don’t ask me where the Rastafarian thing came from) but I did see a few puffy coats (I fucking hate those coats). Tofino to me is just a visually stunning, hard ass working town on the edge of nowhere and everybody here seems to be doing their level best to make something of themselves on their own terms. I don’t think that this is the easiest place to live and work so you have to really want to be here. You want to visit – make the effort. Want to live here – make the effort. I recommend that you make the effort!!!
Oh, and once you come, you’ll never want to leave. There must be magic out there somewhere, floating in the mist, I don’t honestly know. We came here to get away, to experience something different, get a re-charge, do some ‘wellness shit’, feel good. Yeah Man, I feel GOOD!