THE GRUMPY CHRONICLES: March 24/23 Edition

This is my new toy, seriously cool, I know! It’s a limited edition Hemingwrite Smart Typewriter. Now I wouldn’t go so far as to say super smart because Ernie here (its name is Ernie now, because of course you’d name a typewriter Ernie) is refusing to connect to our wifi. He just won’t do it and well, yeah, it’s pissing me off. Now, I can transfer my work from Ernie to the MacBook by USB, but really now, that’s so, like, I don’t know, so long ago, right? Shouldn’t there be some kind of journey to the cloud, where my words can hang out and have a drink or something, maybe hook up with a hottie, engage in fisticuffs? Yeah, Ernie is being somewhat dinkish tonight. Come to think of it, the same could be said for the real Hemingway as well so maybe none of this should surprise anyone.

So anyway, a typewriter? Well, it’s about as close as you can get to the authentic but with this baby I can backspace and delete, and obviously there is no need for paper or whiteout. Now, I’m not getting all nostalgic for high school typing class (we may have been the last generation to have such a thing) because I never learned to type until well into my 20’s, but this feels different, it feels Morley Callaghan, or Pierre Berton, it feels so “old school” and for me, you can’t get much better than that!

Now there is also another very real advantage to banging away on Ernie – attention span, or lack thereof. The modern world has left us with an extreme inefficiency of focus and there are a million things that need checking on the phone or laptop, and while this shit is going down, the primary purpose, to get on with the business of writing, is being neglected. Now, you might ask “what the fuck does that have to do with me?” You may have a point here, but we are trying, aren’t we, and isn’t that what it should all be about? And if I’m being really honest, this Hemingwrite does scare the living shit out of me, because I do question whether I am ready or even deserving of working on such a device. Isn’t this for like, serious people writing and doing serious things while being very serious about serious subjects?

Anyways, moving on… You might be wondering, with might being the operative word, how my leg is? Well thank you so much for asking, my calf is doing okay. It’s been 16 days and yeah, by now I totally thought I would be perfectly fine. Guess what? I’m not lol. It takes a bit longer than two weeks to heal a soleus muscle tear, more like 6 weeks actually, so I best get settled in, right? Indeed!

There is still a lot of ouch going on, but things are not quite as dramatic as say, a week ago. I can walk on my own now, albeit rather slowly, and have even driven short distances. Surprisingly, to drive is easier than walking. I have also begun small, physio movements to keep things circulating and make it appear that I am hard at getting all better. I’d say that’s decent progress. 

What am I not doing? Well, skiing lol, and that kind of pisses me off, even though the reason that I am not on the slopes today is 100% my own fault. No pumping iron either because hey, a serious injury has occurred, Dude! We need to recover and don’t even say it now, I am very aware that the calf is a long way from my heart!

What else am I doing? Well, reading, watching the geese fly up and down the river, drinking coffee, watching hockey! Also doing my best to avoid the cat, Franklin the Dink, who is like a heat seeking missile (he goes straight for the injured calf every time, the Satanic little bastard). And like everyone else who doesn’t ski, I’m now ready for this dirty, late Winter weather to bugger off; shorts and flip flops, hot dogs on the barbeque, early morning golf and late night baseball, yes please! Old Man Winter, come on now, we have discussed this; because I am no longer able to partake in your outdoor activities, I kindly request you pack up your powder and come back at a more appropriate time, say December 1^st?  

Also time to start thinking about “road trips!” Last year we took two epic journeys through pretty much the entire Western USA, either of which on its own could be considered a trip of a lifetime. I am still absolutely amazed by what we saw and not a day goes by without one of us reminding the other about an incredible moment we experienced while out exploring. But that was last year, wasn’t it? Where now? I don’t know, I honestly don’t know, and I should know, or at least have some idea, because come on, it’s not like I have anything pressing on the agenda. The Washington State coast, Yosemite, Route 66, Coast to Coast, Klondike, etc. etc. etc. the possibilities are truly endless! 

Right now though, time for food and maybe a siesta. Hey it’s Friday, why not? Have a great weekend!!!