Let there be light(s)!!! Front porch, back balcony, all through the interior, lights, lights and more lights, and why wouldn’t there be lights? The Holiday Season is once again upon us! For me, and for many others as well, American Thanksgiving kicks it all off so let’s put it as plainly as we can – it is not acceptable to turn on your Christmas lights before the last Thursday in November. You can put the lights up but please DON’T turn them on. Once we hit Black Friday however feel free to light up the fucking night!
As a boy, putting up Christmas lights sucked, no use sugar coating it, it was fucking horrible. I am sure there were years where it wasn’t -30 but if there was I can’t remember. We always seemed to pick the coldest damn day of the year to put up those lights, you know the ones – red, green, blue, yellow, pointy, smooth, hot to the touch? Yeah, those ones, the lights that seemed to break before you even thought of dropping one. Well I actually did drop more than one, and yes they did break, and again yes, there was a lot of yelling and profanity and yes it was of course directed at me. An extra light or two may have been stamped on out of spite (it may or may not have been me), a good time was not had by all and if there was hot chocolate and marshmallows at the end I can’t remember because I was too pissed off to care.
The 2021 Edition of “Operation Light Up The Night” however went much smoother than that shit show. First things first, we popped in the AirPods and selected what is the most obvious and I must say only choice of songs to swing our way into the Holiday season – Savatage’s Christmas Eve (Sarajevo 12/24).
Paul O’Neill explained the story behind Christmas Eve/Sarajevo 12/24 in an interview published on ChristianityToday.com:[1]
… We heard about this cello player born in Sarajevo many years ago who left when he was fairly young to go on to become a well-respected musician, playing with various symphonies throughout Europe. Many decades later, he returned to Sarajevo as an elderly man—at the height of the Bosnian War, only to find his city in complete ruins.
I think what most broke this man’s heart was that the destruction was not done by some outside invader or natural disaster—it was done by his own people. At that time, Serbs were shelling Sarajevo every night. Rather than head for the bomb shelters like his family and neighbors, this man went to the town square, climbed onto a pile of rubble that had once been the fountain, took out his cello, and played Mozart and Beethoven as the city was bombed.
He came every night and began playing Christmas Carols from that same spot. It was just such a powerful image—a white-haired man silhouetted against the cannon fire, playing timeless melodies to both sides of the conflict amid the rubble and devastation of the city he loves. Some time later, a reporter traced him down to ask why he did this insanely stupid thing. The old man said that it was his way of proving that despite all evidence to the contrary, the spirit of humanity was still alive in that place.
Yeah I know, pretty cool! And the song absolutely rocks. Next, we go with Boney M’s “Mary’s Boy Child / Oh My Lord.” I love this song for so many reasons… Seriously, go out and get your funk on! Just don’t get carried away and fall off the ladder, bust your move on solid ground please (everyone safe and healthy, every day). And this year, like others in the recent past, the weather was lovely; snow gently falling, not a breath of wind, not too … wait a minute – that is bullshit – unfortunately no snow, brown’s and greys abound. No wind? Yeah, whatever! This is Southern Alberta and it’s late Fall – we’ve had daily wind warnings – I picked my spot to put up the lights when the wind died down to Category One Hurricane. We have a system and we spanked those lights out in record time. And you know what else? Don’t have to even go outside to turn them on and off – timers and indoor switches – God I love technology!!!
COOKIE TIME
Our next event on the Christmas calendar following the putting up of lights is baking for the season and we managed this event wonderfully. This year we focused on cookies, lots and lots of cookies. Wait, what? Cookies? Well, not just cookies but this year’s baking roster included Mocha Crinkles, regular shortbread, Skor shortbread and ginger snaps. Regular fan favourites Nuts and Bolts and Butterscotch Confetti were joined again this year by Chocolate butter tarts; hey, one needs to present a diverse treat plate, no? It was a very busy day, and I was all over this – I contributed a solid 20% to the overall project, and that’s not including quality control (listen, someone has to sample the products – it’s a dangerous job and potentially life threatening but I stepped up and took on the risk, all for the benefit of family!).
Okay, so I know what you are thinking – what about your latest blog, you know the one about being a Renaissance Man (Ren-eh-ssance Man)? Isn’t Ren-eh-ssance Man / Woman a physical freak of nature? A true specimen? Ahh, excuse me, have you not seen me lately? HAHAHAHAHA! Fuuuuuck you, I beat you to it! Anyway, part of being a Ren-eh-ssance Man / Woman is being well rounded, knowing one’s way around a mixing bowl and enjoying the snacks of the season. It’s not just about the gym you know! Have we not discussed this?
So what’s next? Well, we still have no tree and I have done ZERO shopping! That’s on next week’s agenda. If I am lucky, I will be able to do everything and not have to dodge overturned semi trucks, downed power lines and flying utility trailers. The wind storm Southwestern Alberta had a couple of nights ago actually hit Category 2 Hurricane level (wind speeds exceeded 160 km/hr, hence the airborne vehicles). It was impressive. what is even more impressive, and I say this every time we have a storm like that (we have at least a couple of those storms per month, November through January), is that we carry on our daily lives like it’s truly fuck all. Other parts of the World call in the army and declare a State of Emergency, we head to the grocery store because we are out of mortadella and provolone! We are fucking Ren-eh-ssance Warriors I tell ya!!!
Now if you will excuse me, the forecast is for snow and I am rather excited – Christmas lights have a warmer glow when surrounded by snow, wouldn’t you agree? And I have to go check on the pond; Santa sent word that he may want to stretch his legs when stopping by on The Big Tour, have a skate and shoot a few pucks. Don’t want the Fat Boy to fall through the ice now, do we? Adios for now!!!