Morning, a just after 5 am kind of morning actually, and I’m not sure that I want to get out of bed, but I kind of have to, Nature’s calling and answer it I must. There’s no going back either; the dog conveniently slides into my spot as I am sliding out and any effort to reclaim my personal real estate will result in threats of bodily harm and a swift ejection from the bedroom for both Bodhi and me. Nobody needs a squabble to start the day over something as stupid as this, so I guess I’m getting up.
But to do what exactly? Well, mostly I like to sit in the dark and during the five-o clock hour it’s still very dark, so I consider that a major positive. But I don’t want it pitch black either because I do need to make my way to the coffee so . . . I illuminate using battery powered candles placed in various spots around our living area. The candles kick out a very soft light that’s inoffensive to my person and well, I kind of think it makes the house feel medieval.
My chair is a recliner . . . tan coloured leather, not overly large, operates electronically. Beside it, a large side table, sort of industrial in appearance with a brown metal frame and dark wooden top. On this table top you will see a stack of novels, numerous magazines, eyeglasses, AirPods, a brown leather-bound journal, and an orange YETI water bottle, always filled with iced water no matter the time of day. Under the side table a small foldable writing desk. If I’m upstairs this is where you’ll find me more often than not and sometimes (like now) wrapped in a soft, warm Pendleton throw blanket.
An early morning calm before the storm I guess, except there’s not much of a storm anymore, and the calm is calmer, and darkness soothes and softens my lines of life. “It’s not the worst place to be,” I think to myself, “maybe I should stay a little longer,” but I never do.
6 am and the morning ski report is out and I’m all over it even though I know that there’s nothing different today from yesterday or even tomorrow and I don’t care anyway. Ski I will, ski I must, because there will come a day in the future when maybe I won’t. One day you are 18 and walking to work because the night before you got blackout drunk and have no idea where your car is, the next you are walking around the house at an ungodly hour looking for your knee braces and long underwear. It’s funny but it’s not, because this shit is real and it will get worse, and I’d be lying if I said that it doesn’t bother me. Nobody wants to get old!
And nobody wants to die either, but if you are over 50 this dying thing seems an ever more present potentiality, and yeah that bothers me too. I think that maybe that’s why I don’t get too wound up any more about not being able to sleep. If I’m awake I get up and greet the new day with open arms and yeah, that sleep thing can be figured out later.
With siesta! Yeah, muy bueno compadres, and also quite necessario, because I can’t seem to stay in bed for more than 5 hours at a time. And its serious business too, I will totally ‘gear down’ (hockey euphemism for stripping it off), crawl in and sleep hard, for 1 to 2 sleep cycles (up to 3 hours) and I do this almost every day. Look, this isn’t all that un-natural for gentlemen of my vintage; we still need 7 to 8 hours of sleep a night, but those hours are now accrued in a non-linear fashion. So . . . 5 am . . . Game On!
Anyway, from where I sit I can see a Moon still formidable but no longer full, the Snow Moon, lighting up a landscape outside my window almost totally devoid of snow. The mountains to the West are of course still white, even in darkness, but down here in the lower elevations of the foothills, it’s just dry and dirty. And it’s not going to get whiter anytime soon because the forecast for the next ten days is for daytime highs above freezing and almost zero chance of precipitation. I honestly don’t quite know what to make of this, it’s not really winter now, is it? But what is it? I wish I knew. It’s killing the ski season.
7 am: it’s still dark and I’m thinking that I will continue to think for a bit, and because I think thinking is better in the dark, dark it will stay for at least a little while longer. Think in silence and wait, waiting for daylight while wondering what will come my way today. I have no way of knowing do I, but that’s okay. Sometimes it’s better to know that you don’t know and then figure it out as you go. But where will I go? I don’t know, maybe nowhere. Nowhere I’m pretty sure is somewhere, isn’t it?
I now know that the ski hill is a No Go, mostly because there’s not enough snow. Yeah, I know lol . . . and I really wanted to go. Old Man Winter I hate you so!
Jesus Christ . . . I’m on a roll here eh?
So anyway, now what?
Well, the sun is finally up, fashionably late as usual but I guess considering its early February, one mustn’t be overly judgemental, and I’m not; the sun is always welcome in my world. Wind however is not but unfortunately for me Wind has no concern over my lack of affection for it and blows wildly outside the window all the same. Classic dink move if you ask me, but that’s Wind for you, so I choose to ignore this appalling behavior and not let it ruin my day.
Fresh start: new year, new month, new day. Last year it was there was a little bit “too much of nothing” and “not enough of everything else.” Maybe today we change the narrative and go with a little less of the former and a little more of the latter. Maybe! Or maybe tomorrow lol! Hey, there’s a Wind Warning out there today, and some pretty good golf on the telly! I think I’ll watch some golf!
Hope everyone has a beautiful day!