Are you like me, in that when you discover that whatever you are doing the next day requires getting up at 6 am, you are immediately filled with horror? Just… Well… WHY? Golf, that’s why? The past couple of weekends have coincided with my 4 days off, allowing me to get out for a round each day. We go early, mostly because it means being done in 3 or so hours, leaving the rest of the day to do whatever else it is we do on a day off. I was not at all sure we were even going to be able to golf this year because of COVID so even though I am playing like absolute shit, I tell myself it’s a gift to be out with your friends, smacking a white ball around and complaining about the weather. The reverse psychology has not worked in enabling me to relax and shoot the lights out because for some reason I still think that I should par every hole and it’s a shocker when quite often this isn’t the case. But golf still is a gift, isn’t it? It’s a multi-faceted one I would argue because it also dishes out regular doses of humility and Grumpymarty sometimes needs that. Nonetheless, I am grateful to be able to get out and golf a few courses, with friends both old and new, and enjoy the very short window of summer this rugged region provides us.
I had an epiphany of sorts last weekend regarding gratitude. Last Friday began with 18 holes of golf, the first round of the season. Once completed, I returned home and spent a couple of hours trimming around the place before crawling back into bed for a nap (hey, I needed a re-charge for what was to come). After supper, it was time to pump some iron. Workouts for me are solo affairs which is probably for the best. There is a lot of headbanging involved. Lady Hurricane is not a fan of this particular art form so airpods are mandatory. Once in, crank it up to a level so loud that your false teeth (hockey injury – true story) are rattling around your head then get busy! It’s awesome!!! Here’s where the epiphany comes in – I am 51 years old and still rocking, literally and figuratively! Despite ingesting every poisonous substance known to humankind in the last 35 or so years, I am healthy and kicking it! How the fuck is that even possible? COVID19? Bring it on! I am the place where COVID comes to die – no match for what’s inside me!
But health isn’t eternal, is it? At 30, you are immortal, untouchable. When you hit the Big 4 – 0, well, you start to take notice of things. First and foremost there is the bit of extra weight that insists on hanging around, making clothes fit slightly different shall we say. It also seems that more and more people are dying around you, people that had always been part of your life. Then there is FIFTY! Holy shit eh? The kids are now grown and on their own, many of your friends are grandparents already, the others wish they were. Or how about when you fill out a form online and have to scroll way, way back to find your birth year? I fucking hate that form! Why can’t I just type the damn numbers in? And yes, there is that voice – you know, the ominous one, the one who ruins all the fun? Yeah, that dink! He rides shotgun with me and loves to spew out gems all day long – Why are you still chewing Copenhagen? Filthy habit, rots your teeth. How many coffees have you had? Just wow man! Seriously, you are smoking cigars now? Causes lung cancer you know? Not a good way to die! It goes on and on! About the most polite thing I have said back to the voice is “go fuck yourself” but the voice is a bit of snob and will not drop down to my level for some verbal jousting. I really despise that voice!
I did finally give in and listen about hitting the gym though. It was a good call! Easy choice when you think about it, I enjoy keeping in shape. Telling me to do something I enjoy is a no-brainer. Commanding me to stop doing things I like is a whole different animal and grumpymarty doesn’t do anything grumpymarty doesn’t want to do.
Tough life eh? Yeah, not really, actually not at all. I have it pretty damn good. I haven’t posted for a while because I have been busy golfing, lifting weights, cutting my grass, trimming my roses and going to work. Going forward from the present I plan on banging out one post a week on this site to hopefully keep one and all entertained. If hockey and baseball come back, I am screwed – there is just not enough time in a day people! Let’s be honest though, these are miniscule issues compared to what is going on out there in the big wide world right now. It’s a fucked up place and for a little while at least, it is staying out of my yard.
God Bless, stay safe! See you all in a week!